December 2008
33 posts
Burn After Reading
Hey Babe,
Ross and I watched the most hysterical movie tonight, “Burn After Reading”. It wasn’t the usual funny, but it was about the government and how they invest time in absolutely nothing. The one thing that got me though was that it was filmed in Washington D.C. There were places on there that we had been and seen. Like the running paths between D.C. and Georgetown. ...
I'm home
Hey Babe,
I’m home and exhausted. Too tired to write much tonight. I miss you babe. Ross and I are watching Samantha Brown’s Disney favorites…looking for pointers for April.
I love you Baby. - me
I don't remember
Babe,
I’m trying to make a DVD for mom of the footage I took at Thanksgiving and this weekend, but I don’t know how you did it. Melissa and I tried to make one at Thanksgiving and it took so long that we had to cancel it. I may have figured it out, but I started crying…you always did this. You know how to do it. I miss my other, better half…you. You always remember...
I spent the morning with you
Hi Baby,
I spent the morning with you…in DC, at home, in crazy little hotel rooms, sunburnt in Virginia. In one of our videos you sarcastically said, as I taped you watching tv, “I’m so glad you got that thing.” Meaning the DVR recorder. You hated when I taped you, but I’m so glad I did. To hear your voice and see you smile. I miss that we won’t have any...
“You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have...”
– Henry Drummond
My best gift this Christmas
Dear Husband,
Today was a day of mixed feelings. Of being extremely happy for the people in my life and extreme sadness that you aren’t here. I got through the entire day without a tear, well almost…I had a little breakdown after I talked to your dad tonight. He doesn’t complain…just like you never did. But I know how much your family wishes you were there. We all...
Merry Christmas, Baby!!!!!! I love you!!!
Your big fat cat
Hey Babe,
Its almost Christmas. I had to pack for Indiana tongiht. You know how I get when I pack…instant anxiety. I don’t get into Indianapolis until 9:30 tomorrow night…I hope I don’t get stuck in Philly. Remember last Christmas Eve. We were at my dad’s. I was so excited to have a Christmas with you! Going to sleep with on Christmas Eve, knowing you’d...
“The thing is to rely on God. The time will come when you will regard all this...”
– C.S. Lewis
I hate this life without you
I miss you Babe....
No words can explain it.
I wanna take my ball and go home.
Hey Babe,
I’m so tired tonight. I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep for days. I don’t want to play no more. Just sleep. Remember that Game Over shirt where the stick man is playing with the dog and the dog has his arm in his mouth. Game Over. That’s how I feel…done, tired, sad. I came home tonight and cleaned up the house. And I sat down and watched Top...
“Sweet is the dream, divinely sweet, when absent souls in fancy meet.”
– Sir Thomas More
Snow
Maybe I spoke too soon. Its been snowing all day and I want to do two things. 1. Go snowshoeing with you. 2. Curl up and watch the fire with you. Sucks…can’t do either one. You know its so beautiful with all the snow on the trees, but even though I know it looks beautiful…It doen’t feel beautiful. You know I was raised to always “Put on a happy face”. ...
Doing Ok Though
Hey Baby,
I actually can’t believe that I’m not in deep depression. It seemed that I would never stop crying, but for the moment I have. That may change tomorrow or next week. I miss you, but maybe I’ve come to terms. Whatever the reason, I’m doing ok though. I’m going to miss you on Christmas. For the Christmas breakfast at work, I’m going to try to...
“That you were here seems a dream, that you’re gone a nightmare.”
– Your Wife
Lost
Hey Baby,
I literally got lost in the woods today. I went out to cut a Christmas tree. I thought about how you and Ross wanted to cut that one down on the Mud Creek Road, but it was on someone’s property. We walked all over this property looking for the perfect tree. We found one for your apartment. A cute little one and we both carried it out…although I’m pretty sure you...
The Gift
” Live. And Live Well. BREATHE. Breathe in and Breathe deeply. Be PRESENT. Do not be past. Do not be future. Be now. On a crystal clear, breezy 70 degree day, roll down the windows and FEEL the wind against your skin. Feel the warmth of the sun. If you run, then allow those first few breaths on a cool Autumn day to FREEZE your lungs and do not just be alarmed, be ALIVE. Get knee-deep in a...
“If I could have one lifetime wish, one wish that would come true, I’d pray...”
– Angel on lovingyou.com
Freezing Rain
Hey Baby,
Its freezing rain outside. Nasty weather. I wish you were here to sit by the fire with me. I could use a hug tonight.
I love you.
Going to Indiana again
Hey Babe,
I guess I’m going to Indiana for Christmas. We never did have a Christmas Day in our house. 2006 you went home and then last year we spent it in the hospital. I found the picture I took of your “leaky” head. I know I’m a weirdo. I thought it would be good to have to show the doctor. Remember Dr. Manhands, who literally popped it, put a bandaid on it, and...
Shopping's all done!
Hi Babe,
Well I finished all of my Christmas shopping today and I didn’t even leave the house. I wish you were here so I could show you. I got everyone the same thing, but I think they will like it. We are watching Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory…the old one of course. I talked to mom earlier and she is doing ok. So many people showed up to help with food, money, and time. ...
“I think we dream so we don’t have to be apart so long. If we’re in...”
– Bill Watterson
“My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.”
– Psalm 119:50
God is in control
Hey Babe,
Tuesday night I had a horrible night. I cried non-stop. I called my mom and she tried to console me. The next morning she left Ross and I a message, “Hey kids. Its mom, just remember. Don’t worry, God is in control. Everything is going to be ok.” Well, this afternoon my mom called and said she had something to tell me. My heart sank. I thought it was my...
“The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected.”
– ~Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook
I love you
In Heartprints For You
Its feelings from my heart Which I need to write Worded tokens I convey Both in love and light
Words written in sincerity With continuous flow Hoping to keep in touch The only way I know
Each poem of love written I send on over to you As we are oceans apart This is all I could do
As with every word I write The feelings are true Love flows continuously In heartprints for you
Hope©2008
Back Home
Well Babe,
I’m back home. I worked today. I was glad to have the distraction. I left work though and didn’t want to come home. Partly because its a mess, but mostly ‘cause your not here. I know they say time heals all wounds, but I wonder if “they” know what they’re talking about. Obviously they never lost you. I went to your grave on Saturday and sat...